Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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