Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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