Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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