I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
