OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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