I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
