Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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