im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
