No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
