I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
