only if we run a train.
done.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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