This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
