so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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