I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
