I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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