tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
