Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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