remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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