I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
