I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
