Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
