Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
