How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
