No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
