I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
