My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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