Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
