Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Randomize
