Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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