remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
