I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
