am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
well you can't waste a boner
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
