The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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