you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Damn victory sex feels great
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
