yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
