Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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