Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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