Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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