In the future we'll all be gay
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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