three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
