its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My life is pants optional.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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