You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
