I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
