He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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