If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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