Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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