Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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