every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We named our party play list daddy issues
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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