So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
