Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
high people should be assigned attendants
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
