I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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