She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
